Farewell
by Aeriel Cross
Summary: The war was over, and everything had to be started anew. He should be happy, he knew, but this wasn't the future that Lavi had promised him...a future without Lavi was nothing to him at all. Kanda / Lavi


**Title:** Farewell

**Author:** Alexis Sacrifar

**Pairing:** Kanda/Lavi

**Genre:** Angst/Romance

**Disclaimer:** As if Dgm is owned by me. TTTT

**A.N:** I know its been a long time since i wrote Dgm, and i'm so sorry. Take this as a Mid-Autumn gift from me... This was written more than a month back, but being forgetful, i just forgot to post this here as well. Forgive me! I'm afraid my quality might have dropped, thanks to exams and the sorts.

It was just a word - and a word could mean so much.

--

The sky was a clear blue, and there wasn't a single cloud to be in sight, as the sun shone golden rays onto the radiant land, bringing out its true beauty that had been hidden and shrouded by darkness for the past two months. It would be a perfect day, perhaps, for those who pass by these lands and know not of its history, but for those who were there - the land will bear a living testimony to what had once happened, and a living memory of those who have now ceased to be.

At the edge of a cliff, framed by the skirts of the woods, a lone monument stood, a pure cross shaped out of white marble. Winds whistled through the trees, leaves rustling, as though in anticipation for something, as a man stepped out from the woods. Kanda Yuu approached the cross slowly - not wary, but in mourning, as he neared the grave of his lover. Standing at where the grave was, he could see the lands that spread far and wide from below the cliff, saw rivers threading through this lush green lands, felt for the first time there, the purity of the place. No one who set eyes on this now could imagine that it had been a war-torn zone what two months before, where the dead and the dying lay on soil ripped apart and on dull, red pools of blood, and the air reeked of poison, death and disease. What with the Earl and the Akumas fighting against the Black Order, it had been an oppressive time. Kanda shut his eyes against the memory momentarily. How many had survived the war, and how many times more had died, he wondered, as he stared down at Lavi's name etched mercilessly on the cold marble.

After that incident, he didn't know whether to hate Lavi or anything - perhaps he hated him for leaving him alone in the living world after all those promises they had made to each other, or - he didn't know. After the initial anger, confusion and pain faded away, there was nothing left but for a dull aching sadness in his chest, and he came to truly understand the tern 'sorrow'.

How could Lavi decide on something like that himself? Anger raised its head within Kanda, but he reined in his feelings, seething, deep blue eyes flashing once, before dulling. He could still remember clearly, that incident...

--

_"Yuu-chan! Oh man... looks like you and me are down, huh?" Lavi coughed, but still turned grinning nevertheless towards Kanda who threw himself behind a boulder just in time to dodge the next series of attacks, the boulder shuddering violently as the next range of bullets made impact with it. Groaning and lifting a hand to his injured shoulder, Kanda leant back against the rock, breathing harshly and holding mugen loosely in his right hand, cursing._

_"Don't call me Yuu-chan!" He snapped back like he always did, instinctively. Lavi chuckled, fixing his one good eye on Kanda, while the other stared him down, taking note of Lavi's torn and tattered uniform now thoroughly soaked through with blood, and various burns and wounds, he had, and covered in blood and grime, but yet he was still smiling. This guy was really unbelievably, Kanda decided as those emerald eyes sparkled at him. "Why so serious, Yuu-chan?" Lavi teased."How's the casualties on your side?"_

_"Seriously, now's not the time for jokes, Lavi... team 6 and 8 are down, i heard the others aren't holding up as well, do i don't know what that stupid tiny beansprout is doing," Kanda answered grimly. "And-"_

_"I meant you, Yuu-chan." _

_Kanda glanced at Lavi with undisguised surprise, before turning away. "...che! No big matter here, but i can only sustain a few more rounds..." Saying so, Kanda gripped his torn shoulder, wincing. With an injury like this, he wouldn't be sure that he would have as perfect a defense as before._

_"How coincident, me too." Lavi sighed. "Say, do you think we're going to pull through this?"_

_Kanda glanced around warily at the field. The sky was teeming with those deformed, hideous killing machines of what the Earl called art, a low whirring sound and the clicking of blades humming deep in his head. The dead and the dying surrounded them, and the ground had been stained a crimson red. The sky was steel grey, and rain fell in sheets from those obscure clouds. He could hear the demented laughter of the Noahs, the thrilled, maniacal cries of the Earl, and those screams of rage and pain from those in the Oder. "Damn..." Kanda muttered, lifting a hand to brush his wet fringe out of his eyes. "If this goes on..."_

_"Aww Yuu-chan. Take a break and we'll be at it again!! Who cares how many we kill, as long as i get to vent my pent up frustration of not being able to love you properly at them!!" Lavi grinned as he offered a flask to Kanda, from which Kanda took a swig from before handing it back to him, the water welcome to his parched throat, and felt Lavi's fingers lightly tracing a cut on his cheek, and hissed. "Lavi!!"_

_"..." The bookman's apprentice was silent for a moment. "I love you, Yuu-chan."_

_"Huh?" Kanda's eyes snapped up in alarm to Lavi's emerald green ones. "What... what are you... what's wrong?" Although they were already publicly acknowledged lovers, Kanda sensed that there was something wrong with Lavi. He couldn't point out what was wrong, but something was definitely wrong._

_"Nothing," Lavi shrugged. "Just relieving memories of the past." His eyes took on a glazed, faraway look. "I just... really miss those days."_

_"Who doesn't?" Kanda grumbled. "Once this is over-"_

_"Heh!! That's right! Once this is over, i think i'll go to bed for a good rest, and i want Yuu-chan with me to kiss me goodnight, then Allen will definitely head to the canteen to demolish the food supplies, Leenali will have trouble keeping Komui-san sane, and the science department will be so busy, then there'll be a lot of clean up. Funerals must be held, and the Order must be rebuilt again, but do you... do you believe in the future, Yuu-chan?" Lavi rattled off._

_"Of course." Kanda could picture the future that Lavi painted before him, despite being in the middle of all the chaos, explosions sounding everywhere. It seemed so real, so believable that for once, it seems all the pain was worth it. It would be. "But we will have to build it ourselves."_

_"Yeah, that's why i want you to live on!" Lavi pressed a finger to Kanda's lips when he opened his mouth to say something. "Shh, let me speak. You know, when i first arrived in the Order, i thought that i would just be creating another lie... but you know what? I met a lot of different people, people that i came to love and care for, especially you, Kanda... i just cannot watch you getting injured. i can't bear to watch the Order be destroyed... many of those whom i learnt to care for died..."_

_Kanda shook free of his lover's hands, his mind in a whirl. Lavi wasn't making sense at all, and this kind of speech... somehow it felt like Lavi was going to die. "Lavi? What's going on?" He shook the redhead's shoulders._

_"I love you, Kanda." Lavi answered softly, remorse in his eyes._

_"No!" A sudden thought occured to Kanda, and he lunged at Lavi, grabbing his shoulders. "You're not thinking - i... ugh..." Kanda groaned, and slumped into Lavi's arms, his head spinning and for the first time, he noticed that his senses was blurring. "Lavi... you..drugged me..." He glared at the red head. "How dare..."_

_"I'm sorry, Kanda..." Lavi murmured, tracing Kanda's features lightly with a finger. "Forgive me... but i couldn't bear to watch you go on anymore."_

_"You'll... never... stand...change..." Kanda choked, Lavi's voice sounding as though he was so far away, pain wrenching in his heart as he fought to stay conscious. The moment that Lavi was gone, he would lose Lavi forever. No...he must not let that happen... it was impossible that this was going to happen... "Lavi..."_

_"You'll probably hate me for this, but i just want you to know that i really love you. All those times, Yuu-chan, i never forgot a single thing of those times." Lavi continued on steadily, brightly, as though nothing happened, as though... he wasn't going to die. "All those promises i've once told you, they weren't lies, Yuu. I really wanted to be with you forever. You and me. But just know when i was hit by an Akuma's bullet, i knew it was the end. Its only Miranda-chan's innocence holding me up now." Lavi's lips twitched. "Krory is gone too, so i can't be saved i guess. Which means, that i'm going to die." Grinning apologetically, he plowed on. "But i don't want you to die as well - i'm already dead, so i want you to live on. And... and be part of that future! Live on for me, i'll be there with you." An explosion rocked the ground behind him, and Lavi stroked Kanda's cheeks for one last time before kissing his softly on the lips for one last time. _

_"I'm sorry, Kanda...farewell. I'll never forget you."_

_"LAVI!!" A scream tore itself from Kanda's throat, and the last thing he remembered was the rain, cold on his face, and Lavi's back towards him, facing an almost opaque wall of akumas. Lavi turned back to look at him for one last time, at the prone samurai on the sodden ground, those beautiful lips, that angel like face..._

_"I'm sorry."_

_By the time he woke up, Lavi was gone from him forever._

--

Looking down now at the grave, Kanda hissed softly. "Fool... quit being a hero once and for all, you stupid rabbit!!" His voice broke with anger. "Its not like being a hero will get you anywhere!! Damn right - i hate you!! You useless, utter piece of trash!! You don't even deserve to be an exorcist!!" He kicked angrily at the white marble, ignoring the stabbing pain in his toe. "Do you think i'd thank you for this?? After all those things you said to me - live on?? Who do you think you're fooling?! After everything..." Kanda's voice broke, hands clenching themselves into tight fists. "Did you think... did you think i didn't see you cry??" He exploded finally, a few birds taking flight from the trees to his outburst.

"I hate you, you stupid, idiotic, good for nothing rabbit."

A church bell tolled heavily somewhere in the distance, the sound echoing off the cliff, to accompany the wind in mourning, as silent tears slid off Kanda's cheek to fall to the ground, unseen by anyone, and never will be.

owari

A.N: I have definitely lost my touch. SORRY!!


End file.
